Time Passes by

Hey... How are you people doing ? You are here to read my 2nd blog ?... Nice.

My mom says, if someone is coming back to you , that means you must have done some good work. So, the Modest guy that I am - let me first thank all of you for coming back and giving me the push to write further.

My last blog talked about my Raw thoughts, the unsaid things in my mind.

The uncertainty I am going through when it comes to sticking on to one thing in life, the directionless life that I am leading.

Am I sure about who I am ??? - This question needs to be answered first, before I begin the quest of - Who I want to be ? or What do I want to achieve ?

Also, its not just me who lives "my" Life - I am the You. I am the average guy who has managed a well to do lifestyle.

Lives on the basic comforts, strives for the fashion labels, eats out at fancy restaurants.

However, I also remember, growing up in a very modest middle class background. The Playgrounds, the pocket money, the once in a blue moon eating out.

Life was never so extravagant for anyone in our family, and so to speak people around me .

Now when I look back at my growing days - thanks to the amazing way mom has preserved old times in those albums - I say - and I am sure most of us say -

"Oh Man !! Look, how did I look ??? It was all so different then !!!"

I am sure so many of me, feel the same way. I am sure about that.

Today, We blow it all, we work hard, party harder.

The average life of a normal person is 64 years.

You reading this blog have mostly lived 30-35% of your lives. What have we done?

Look I am not a revolutionary. I am not trying to bring about change.

And for that matter, the awesome thing about this is, tomorrow when I wake up I will start living the same old "Do-Not-Care" Lifestyle.

However, I still get these wierd thoughts & I want to change. I am seeking help. I want to cure myself, revive my thoughts, stabilize my mind.

I want to lead a life where I am not living for myself, Its not that I do not love my parents, my friends & my family - but now I want to shower that love.

I want them to know that I love them, I want them to be proud of the person that I am.

And again that I is not me, that I is not me alone. That I is You, that I is Us.

So lets love the ones who love us each day unconditionally. Lets give them something to smile about.

I am going to do that, will you...?? Once back will tell you what I did. You till then tell me what have you done, or what are your plans.

Raw Thoughts - Caught before they Fly Away..!!!

Day - One

Do not know why I am writing, I am writing right now cause I guess I have nothing else to do.

But now that I have written the first line, I think what better than writing down my thoughts, atleast now they are real, cause they are now in Black & White.

My thoughts - Am I really gonna write my thoughts, or I am just fucking with my mind and trying to make a fool of you (Yeah You - who have reached here to read this crazy blog).

I think about a lot of things that happen around us, Yesterday - 11th March, 2011 - Japan was struck with a devasting Natural Catastrophe. A massive Earthquake, triggering a monstrous Tsunami. My heart - felt the ripples, glimpses of the Movie 2012 came to my mind, turning into a reality.

Thoughts of the ever spoken Nostradamous Prophecy - The Apocalypse came to my mind.

The movie had a brilliant line - it is sketched in my heart - "World as we know it, will soon come to an end"

Then suddenly my mind shifted from this intriguing worldly disorder to the lesser important thing when compared to the larger happenings - My Life.

I am at the verge of uncertainties, with my life.

Oh.. Let me tell you who I am - A libran at heart - Loves to love, hates to be brought down, I dream unlimited. I have a job at a Multi National Corporation. I am a part of the Swiss Bank Offshoring Team doing there Investment Banking stuff sitting here in India.

Now, its been 3 years, no let me be edgingly precise - 3yrs & 3 months doing this corporate shit.

I am tired of it. I live away from home, alone.

I do not care about anybody here, nor does anybody care about me - Its a healthy proposition that ways. However, I do not like it.

As I earlier said, I love dreaming - But to tell you the truth, most of them are when I have my eyes wide open.

I wanna create - the big question is what - Money? Naaahhh... Art? Well sort off !!! I guess with me the Hardest thing is to stick to a single thing.

I am being honest.

I have tried my luck at quite a lot of things, have fared somewhat average in all of them, the sad thing, never been the Man in any of them. I am one of those lost in trying to do too many things.

I am the one of You.

I am what I think is a guy who doesn't know. I guess I should be happy, for I have a decent enough job, but then many more have jobs better than me - Thats probably Jealousy? Is it?

But then I think of the others who will do anything to have my job, have my pay, have my lifestyle.

I know some certain things, that I dont like what I am doing, sadly I do not know either what should I be doing.

I keep having these intense conversations with my friends - and as I told you before, I have been in too many things, so they see a lot of potential in me.

There comes the killing part. People who love me have faith in me, where do I go to find that faith in myself.

I am waiting for life to strike to me. But am I gonna do something about it. Do i have it in me to put the pieces together and solve this Jumble game - called Life.

I guess we will all have to wait and see.